almost 3 years ago i was a sad obliterated mess. i was in love with a boy who could never love me back and used me repeatedly and i understood and tried to justify his actions as love. i was heartbroken and so fucking angry at myself for giving pieces of myself to him that i could never get back.
three years ago the world was fucking black and grey and the air hurt my lungs like i was always breathing in thick smoke when i was around him.
three years ago i sat in my bed every night wondering why i wasnt enough and why i couldnt be different and why i had to have the body and heart that i have.
today im waking up beside the love of my life in our apartment and the world is full of light and reasons to come home every day. i roll over and see him and thank the stars and a if there is a god then him too that we found each other. he looks at me and home isnt our tiny little apartment but the feeling i get when i see him walk through the door. its the feeling of his voice filling the room and my heart when he tells me how happy he is every day. when im around him my lungs and soul are able to breathe and hes just so warm and he was in love with me when i was in heartbroken and when i was in love with the wrong one but he never used my vulnerability to his advantage. he saw me throw chairs across rooms out of anger and confusion and never got scared but instead held me and was in love with me just the same the whole time without me knowing it
i wish i still had the pieces i had 3 years ago to give him today but he never asks for them. instead he loves me for the pieces that are left while trying to help rebuild the ones i lost
